Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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