Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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