my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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