All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize