Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
dude. I can hear the air.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
