I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
