I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Say something about gay babies.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
