Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
