The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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