I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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