which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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