I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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