Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
