i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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