I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
