I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
