Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
