she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
