Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
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I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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