marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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