Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
