if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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