After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I am midnight drunk by noon
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
