That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
