Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize