I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize