It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The air taste purple.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
