my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize