Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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