Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
