what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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