like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
