I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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