making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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