So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
