Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
