I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
