chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
