took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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