I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
