Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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