we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Randomize
