Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
