Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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