Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
