If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize