You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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