making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
