She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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