There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
