Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
