Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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