i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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