talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize