nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize