wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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