I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize