All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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