i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
