she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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